i was a mercenary with three arms and not enough guns by ocelot

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seventeen years in development, legion untold passions in locker-room scuffles, and the GNP of four third world countries yet to be disclosed brings you


My Life As A Hanky's Hanky
> > plawu!
Starin: (in order of appearin)
Nancy Sinatra
The Golden Boys
Ethyl Ene
Shay o'Too

I didn't know what to think when Jean brought Fluffy in disguised as squab. What was he trying to pull? I knew he couldn't be thinking of the old 7-star restraunt gambit from our days out in zeta-sector. And yet the sauce ..made it clear that in fact amelia and george were still alive and well and deeply involved in the inscrutible scrutinizings of the entity we still knew only as i decided to take a drive to clear my mind. james rockford was my copilot.
i dreamed a dream of men and dogs.
their coats were solid glossy fur 'd
an' in their throats the tumbling stirr'd
simply put, fish doesn't come any fresher

rockford woke me with some cockeyed scheme for destroying the entire zeta sector once and for all.
i told him he was a sap, dragged him out of the car and beat him up.
that guy's a sap.
.. but sometimes .. sometimes, hanging around him gives me a handle on the larger photo. My thinking on this case had become bery linear, bewry stagnant.
As i was wondering if maybe i shouldn't'a' punched him out so quick
it dawned on me that maybe there was a way to decimate zeta sector after all.
not with fission of course, that's a damn pipe dream. But perhaps with highly motile sperm, bread for intelligence and piercing sense of beat, there just might be a way.. excited by my new plan, i rushed to the agency labs and had jean cook me up an ulta-lightweight, radar-invisible, scanning, runneling, super slick mechanical pencil, and began to sketch... soon i had it! without thinking about it, i had sketched an exact replica of my aunt flo's legnedarilt delicious rhomboid apple mango coffee cake! of course! here i am. i took it myself. notice how you can't see my arm holding out the camera? I'm good that way. in hardly any time at all, the coffee cake was entirely deployed, zeta sector was about as terrifying as a pimple on a warthog's ass, and it was time for some back country quad-X brew. i called up rockford and appologized. he said it was no problem, not really, and we went back to his place and made out all over the lving room. it's real hardwood floor even tho it doesn't look like it. THE END